Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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