East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
