he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
