A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ugly people sure do ruin things
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
