I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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