Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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