that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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