Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
