Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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