After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
