I want to stick my p in your. b.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
im holly from the hills drunk
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
we should paint friendship bongs
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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