Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
