i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize