Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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