You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize