I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
