its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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