he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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