My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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