She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
