what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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