Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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