can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
