he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
