do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
