I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
