just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
