I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
