Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
