Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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