i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
