you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
