The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
