paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize