never play flip cup with pint glasses
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
zippers are such a cool invention
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
