you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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