Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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