Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
