its not stalking. its research.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
