Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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