Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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