so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
