rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
