how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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