Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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