First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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