I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
