HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
