And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
