I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
