What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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