yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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