I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
