This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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