is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
