exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
