dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
